My Latest Exciting Adventure ...

... Into the world of Web pages can be found here.

Content-ish type material will appear there soon, I hope. But the crushing burden of this blog may complicate matters. You never know.

Essential Reading

Let's assume you're a young copy editor, just starting out. What books would you need to do your job? Thanks for asking. Recommendations follow:

1.) Dictionaries

More than one, please. Multiple dictionaries give you multiple opinions, quickly. Yes, it can be more fun to ask the person sitting next to you, but sometimes she's busy. I'm biased because I own dozens of the things, but no single volume (besides the AP style book, perhaps) will help you more.

2.) Some sort of thesaurus

I prefer The Synonym Finder, but any book that can jog your mind for extra words can help. Don't use it to produce unfamiliar words. Use it to stimulate your thinking.

3.) An almanac

This makes me sound old-fashioned, but having all the information on a printed page can help you. We too often turn to the Web when a paper source could do the job more authoritatively. You don't have to get sucked into a Google trap for every single question.

4.) A few usage books

Quite a few volumes about "correct" use of the English language crowd the shelves. Most won't help you directly. They make you think about the written word critically, though, and that's what copy editing is all about.

Tasking My Brain

For that matter, what's with the word "task" as a verb?

Who decided this was a good idea? I suspect it was the same guy who invented "efforting." I defy someone to use it in a way that doesn't sound incredibly lame.

"He's been tasked to find the answer."
"We're tasking on that."
"I've tasked her with an important assignment."
"I'm tasking."

I'm sure you are. And why don't you actually work at the same time? With a verb. They're these things that, before administrators took over the world, used to propel language. Back when language was used to communicate, not obfuscate.

Words like this make me want to gouge out my eyes with pica poles. And those pica poles are old and rusty, so I'm sure they'll hurt.

(Multi-tasking, I can live with. Barely.)

Never, Ever, Ever Use This Word

I was driving around St. Petersburg today, looking for apartments and listening to the radio. I shouldn't do this. I always regret it later. (Listening to the radio, that is. The living quarters remain a necessity.)

Anyway, a talk show host used a word that nearly drove me off the road through sheer revulsion.

"Efforting."

As in, "I'm efforting to get that done." "We're efforting to call him up." "I'm efforting to come up with the most offensive, needless word ever."

What drives me batty about this is substituting a jargony, verbed noun for the simple, wonderful, economical "try." "I'm trying to get that done." "We're trying to call him up." "I'm trying to make my word choices less offensive."

If you hear anyone use this word, slap them. They must pay.

Inspirational Thought for the Day

Thank goodness we don't have to do this on typewriters.

Where They Come From

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Quote Addendum

A couple of comments rattled into the old Copy Massage mailbox addressing last month's post about quotes.

"Asphaire" wrote --

"on number three.. GREAT to know.. at least i can stop feeling like I have to justify every little two word tango with an oxford quoted explanation.. like i always say when i'm at a loss for any sort of explanation.. if it ain't pleasing to the ear, then it's best to paraphrase. that probably the best grammar rule i know. :o/"

I think the point being referred to is actually my fourth, in which I spoke against parentheticals in quotes. It's stupid. I mean, why are we quoting someone if we don't let them speak for themselves?

The parentheticals I hate most are the condescending ones.

"'I hate that dadratted [U.S. President George] Bush,' Kerry said."

At least the [going to the park] example I created below tries to help the reader. The example above exists merely to show off how intelligent the writer thinks she is and how dumb she thinks the reader is.

"Peter" chimed in --

"I agree with the point of the first example, but adding the "old chap" part is a needlessly hyperbolic flourish. Who does that? Or have you noticed recurring problems with editors turning hillbillies into upper-crust Englishmen?"

Yes. All the time.